I Am A Big Wuss

I'm awesome at acting tough. I have a curt, witty remark for everything. I have mastered the dispassionate smirk. I am emotionally removed from most people and situations*.

But, fuck me if I don't invest everything I've got into scary movies.

I love those raging dumbass main characters who go lurching around in the dark, who think it's a great idea to start some good old fashioned procreating in that abandoned shack with the serial killer, who scream at inopportune moments, who seemed to be off drooling and scratching themselves when The Big Guy was handing out common sense.

Most of those movies, regardless of how fundamentally ridiculous they may seem, I love the characters like I'll never love another human being.

But that's a bit of a silly thing to do, so I try to hide it. Which I'm also embarrassingly bad at.

The Boys have taken notice. The Boys are Boyfriend and Tanner, Boyfriend's broski and my verygood friend.

Boyfriend and I are on an unending quest to find a horror movie that scares us both quite shitless. We have been thus far unsuccessful, which I maintain is because I let Boyfriend pick the movies so far, and he mistakes violent for scary. But, to be on topic: We have had multiple scary movie nights because of this.

One of these was with The Boys, and, because Boyfriend demanded it, we rented The Hills Have Eyes (the remake, for you connoisseurs out there; yes, yes, declaim me as an infidel, we wanted the remake). We formed a cuddle pile at Boyfriend's house, me snuggled next to Boyfriend, Tanner with his head on my chest. I was properly laughing along with them, making fun of the movie, pretending that I wasn't Freaked the Hell Out because there were dogs and babies being hurt and it was anxious-making.

Boyfriend: Oh, come on.

Me: That was ridiculous.

Tanner: Do not even. You're so into it.

Me: What, no.

Tanner: Your heart is racing. I can HEAR it.

Boyfriend: I want to hear!

Me: No stop I'm fine watch the movie.

Tanner: You're scaaaared.

Me: WATCH THE MOVIE.

Thus commenced another hour of Tanner going "Taylor's scared :)" at every mildly extremely tense part, and Boyfriend mockery, and.

I don't even want to talk about when we watched The Last Exorcism this week, which is corny and I know it, and I kept clinging to Boyfriend. And he smirked and asked if I was scared. And I shushed him appropriately.

There, now you know.

*Unless there are puppies or people crying. Then I'm a mess.